it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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