Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
