Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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