i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
