I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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