There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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