Kiss
Puke
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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