I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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