I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
