and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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