...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
