I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize