I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
