so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
