You work out of a Hotel?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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