glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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