are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
