wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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