I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
