Don't you send me to vm
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize