So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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