My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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