how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
