Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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