i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize