i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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