Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize