You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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