I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
