Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
