My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And then he peed in my hair
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