..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We smell like vodka and hangover
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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