No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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