on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
