Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize