she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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