Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
