You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
