What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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