Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
