I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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