i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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