get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
