i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize