everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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