the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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