Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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