woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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