He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
