i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
