Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just found a bag of teeth...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
