yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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