sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
