gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
