It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
