Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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