This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
